I work with three very different men of varying ages. One is 25, one is 37 and the oldest is 48. Work has been great for a while now until this last Saturday. The youngest guy and the oldest guy just do not get along. The youngest guy has worked for us for over two years and four months ago he seemed to go off the 'deep end' emotionally toward the oldest guy, and for the life of me I could not figure out what his problem was. I know that he had some issues about whether the oldest guy was doing his share of the work around the shop, but he took his concerns to an extreme, behaviorally.

I was able to change my personnel management style and bring the troubles to a halt, and over the last couple of months things had really improved at work. The younger guy turned in his two week notice last Wednesday and that was fine. He's heading off to another state where he's enrolled in a "lineman's college," and I was happy that he had made a decision for a direction in his life he and his wife seemed to be happy with. You would think that with just two weeks left to work in this environment that he could manage to get along with the older guy and help make his remaining time with the rest of us a pleasant experience. Saturday removed any doubts about whether or not that would happen.

He took issue with a small incident and blew it out of proportion and then cursed the older guy, got "in his face" and behaved very badly. The older guy reacted wisely and told him, "Whatever you wish to believe is your choice." When I confronted the younger guy about it and tried to get to the bottom of the problem a wall went up. I got no answers and when I took it a step further and went to the boss with this she didn't seem to be able to make a decision. I told her that my feeling was that two weeks were too long and that he needed to go now. For her own reasons she decided to let him work out his time with us.

This young man has some serious issues and I have no real idea what they are and I don't care to speculate. He is not a Christian, but instead belongs to a cult of Christianity, namely the LDS organization. The 37 year-old is also LDS and they get along famously. I have asked him a time or two, out of exasperation if his behavior is how he wants to represent the LDS organization, and in all fairness, most LDS people I've known over the years have been very nice people. In this case however, I have not been comfortable at work these last several days. All I am able to do is keep these two men apart as much as I possibly can and keep them very busy.

There are all sorts of ways people suggest for dealing with anger. Some of them are ridiculous and some aren't. I believe personally that anger is a choice, and I believe a commitment to Christ is the most helpful thing there is in dealing with anger. Some reading this might react to that statement with a guffaw and by clicking the "next blog" box in the upper right hand corner of this page. That's fine, but if they read far enough they might learn that I mean Christians with a true, mature, serious commitment to dealing with life issues, including anger through a Christ-like worldview that includes not just loving Jesus and His Word with all our hearts, but also loving others enough to treat them the way that we'd like to be treated.

Some of behaving like that towards others involves more than a little time devoted to thinking about what other people might be going through, being sensitive to their experience and having sympathy for their struggles and so on. I'm not talking about giving people a pass when they behave badly. I would want somebody else to rebuke me if I were being a jerk. I've gotten a couple of anti-jerk rebukes from my wife before and had them coming, and some I have accepted graciously and some I haven't but I came around later, once my pride has subsided and my sense had taken over.

People who view anger through Christ-like eyes see it for what it is. Anger can affect adversely our physical, emotional and social health and well being. Working with this young guy has certainly affected me. Even though he hasn't injured me in any way, the tension level at work seems palpable and it makes the atmosphere there unpleasant. Dealing with anger is something everybody has to do, whether we're dealing with our own or someone else's, it is in our day to day lives.

Truly Christ committed people that I've met seem to be generally less stressed out, depressed, less given to suicidal thoughts and seriously bad habits. They tend to have good marriages and be happier with their lives. I believe their physical and mental health benefits are due mainly to the depth and sincerity of their faith and has nothing whatsoever to do with whatever denomination they belong to. Although I believe fellowship is vital to the believer, a life altering personal relationship with Jesus Christ can't be acquired by merely attending church.

As our faith and our relationship with Him grow, we hopefully will grow also in the skills and godly traits in "general" that are "specifically" required in dealing with anger. Those who have made Him the center of their lives will deal with anger because they have a sense of purpose, peace and the hope that comes only from Him. They become more and more aware as time goes by of His prodigious grace and His merciful love for them. They inherit from His Spirit His wonderful fruits. Love, peace, patience, goodness, temperance, brotherly love and a joy that comes from knowing Him that brings strength.

If anger is the choice I believe it to be, we can overcome it through Christ. As believers we have both a human and a spiritual nature. Every one of us has sinned and we all have a list of personal flaws and failures, even the best of us. But when we submit our hearts to Him in all things, His Holy Spirit takes over and gives us the strength of heart to change from people of confusion and fear and anger and be transformed into people who want to be more and more like Him. He begins to guide our yielded hearts and calms us, allowing us to live in victory over anger and the consequences of it.

Whether we are dealing with another person's anger toward us or our own anger towards another, anger has to be met with a calm spirit, with patience and with love. Love for Jesus first, wanting to please Him with our actions and love also for the person we are angry with or who is angry with us. For believers in Christ, anger must be controlled.

""31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:31,32