I saw a guy I know from church. I've known him since high school. When he called me over, I was happy to see him, but I realized that I hadn't seen him in some time. I found out that he and his wife and family had left the church for a year or more and had recently returned to face some problems. The problems he had, he told me, were with some of the church leadership, mainly a youth pastor and his father-in-law. Yes, these problems happen in churches, because they are filled with human beings.
He told me that when he'd confronted the young youth pastor, fairly, that he hadn't been well received to say the least, and that he hadn't known what to do at the time, was speechless, and that he had eventually left. "I ran away from the problem." he told me.
I'm not one to mince words. I told him that I knew him, and that I know that he tends to bottle things up. He agreed. I told him that I know that he had his feelings hurt, but that sometimes things go the way they do, because we are restrained because the Holy Spirit is working in the midst of these things, and has plans of His own, which we aren't to question. He told me that he absolutely believed that.
I asked him what brought him back. He told me that, number one, though he had been to some fine churches, that the Word of God was just not being lifted up and taught as well as it was at our church, and number two, he needed to deal with these past hurts.
I told him that if he was going to, that he would have to let go of it and tell God that he was desperate to do so, and that the love of Christ in him was going to have to go out to the people he felt he'd been hurt by. He told me that he just didn't have that love for these two people in leadership.
Man. I told him he'd better get it. He told me that he knew that he had to, but that he didn't know how. I didn't tell him to put his nose into the word, because I know that he reads it. I did recommend that he seek counseling on the matter, and to make it clear that he was not there to whine, but that he simply needed guidance to get over this roadblock. I know this guy, and he is a sincere Christian man, but he really needs desperately for God to change his heart. Maybe he did get his feelings hurt, but he really needs to submit his heart to the Lord on this, as we do in all things.
Maybe it was a situation where a young youth pastor didn't know how to deal properly with an older Christian and botched the job. So what? My high school friend ran away, and he allowed bitterness to come into his thinking, and he has lost love for two of his fellow Christians. What a mess.
You know, this is major, for a Christian. I don't have to love anybody, because this is America, right? Wrong. I am supposed to share in Jesus' love for everybody, even those people who hate me for no reason, because while we live here, we're not from here. We have been given heavenly gifts, and one of those is the love of Christ in our souls, and we aren't supposed to let bitterness choke it out of us. That's something God's word instructs us to be wary of. It's a choice.
Christ's love isn't just what you feel, it's also what you do.
I (kind of) know a Christian guy who cannot stand me. He insulted me for no reason and actually told me not to speak to him. I complied instantly. For a while I was angry with him and I began to see bitterness in my attitude, which is very out of character for me, but I realized that I had no right not to love him like Jesus does. As a result of that, God changed my heart towards him. Sure, the guy is still a pain at times, and I know he wants nothing to do with me, and I will grant his wish. But he still has my love, and I have peace with this thing, and even hope that one day he might change his mind, speak to me, and I will be able to tell him that I love him, no matter what he thinks of me.
How is that possible? It's easy. Philippians, 4: 4-8 tells us:
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things.