Stumbling Blocks and Children

The other day at work, I had a nice experience with a young guy in his mid-thirties. He had come in the day before to pick my brain about refinishing his hardwood floors, and had then come back to rent a machine to do the work, and to get some pointers. That went very well because he was a good listener, and while we were talking, his very sweet little boy (about six or seven) occupied himself by looking at the many different items that crowd our warehouse space. We had a good time as customer and merchant, and it was one of those experiences that make work actually fun. All of that took an abrupt left turn only moments after I loaded a floor sander into his truck and left him about the business of tying it into place.

I had moved on to help another customer when I heard a man yelling at the front of the store. My wife works part-time at our family business, and I looked across the lot, through an open doorway to see her standing in the front office, opposite a rather large man, cursing loudly at her. You have to understand that my wife was raised by a man who had a rather nasty temper, and who could say and do surprisingly ugly things which fathers ought not to say or do to their children, especially their daughters. She long ago determined that she would not allow anyone else to treat her in the same way.

I hurried inside and caught only the tail-end of his rant, which was bad enough. He had stomped out the front door along with another man and I walked out after him. I said in a somewhat loud voice, "Why don't you try using that kind of language with me?" He told me to do something obscene, and before he could slam his truck door, I yelled out to him, "Grow up." Sigh. It was at that moment that I realized the man and his young son were still there, and that his little boy had seen and heard the whole thing.

Essentially, the man had gotten angry over nothing, and the problem could have easily been resolved with no real inconvenience to himself. It is hard to understand at times why people become as angry as they do. My wife and I discussed afterward what exactly went wrong, and how things might be handled better if something like that were to happen again. I am not sure that I would act any differently if I hear some guy cussing my wife out through no fault of her own. I don't think I would act any differently if she were at some sort of fault. You simply do not talk that way to women. You simply do not talk that way to other people, period. At least if you do you should not be surprised if people get offended. Profanity is a particular problem for me. Always has been. I hate it, but you can call me any name in the book if you are directing it at me and it won't get me worked up. Just don't speak to others that way around me.

As it happened, the young guy who rented the sander returned it yesterday, and I had the opportunity to speak with him about the incident. I told him that I wanted to apologize for the fact that it happened in front of his little boy. He said that he was sorry about that, but that I owed him no apology. He said that if I had not said something, that he would have. He also said that I had every right to say what I had. He also told me that what bothered him the most was the fact that his little boy is autistic, and often has a tendency to mimic what he sees and hears. Unfortunately, he had heard this man on a profane tirade, and he was hoping his child would not go on to imitate it.

That is the thing, isn't it? There are always consequences for sinful behavior, and not necessarily just to us. If this angry man were a considerate person, he would have treated my wife decently. I would not have gone after him the way I did. I wouldn't have felt like a bit of an idiot for not handling it better. My wife and I are adults though, and we can intellectualize these things, take stock and try to do better in the future. The little boy is the one that counts. It is his experience that matters.

I have talked with parents who say that it is good for kids to be exposed to such things so that they can have the opportunity to see it for themselves, process it and learn from it. I am alright with the processing and learning part if such experiences happen, but with the loving guidance of a Bible-believing parent. I do not believe however, that it is ever good for a child to be exposed to such behavior. We are taught to avoid sinful behavior. How could it be good for any child to be exposed to impure things?

I know that God can take what others mean for evil and orchestrate something good with it to work out His majestic plan, but thinking that it is ever good for kids to be exposed to vile language and profane behavior is a bit like the question Paul asked and answered---"What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase?" (Romans 6:1) He emphatically rejects such a concept in the next verse. I think it is up to all of us in the body of Christ to protect children from such things as best we can.

Matthew 18:6 "but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." Jesus was pretty emphatic too. He went on to say that stumbling blocks would come, but also said, "woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes! If we can prevent the stumbling block from being brought, what does that say about our responsibility?