A Detrimental Habit

A friend of mine and I were discussing pornography, and the effect that it has on people's lives. He was asking me how I thought it might affect a man's attitude toward a future wife. I believe that the affects would be purely detrimental. This whole thing prompted a discussion about the subject, between my wife and I, and we both had similar thoughts on the matter.

In 1st Corinthians 7:9, Paul said it's "better to marry than to burn." When looked at in the context of the passage, the meaning is hard to miss. Paul is talking to the single person. He refers to them in verse 8 as "the unmarried" and "the widows." He tells them that it's good for them to remain single for the reasons that he later states in verses 26, and in verses 32-35.

The case of individual situations though, (including personality) is not to be ignored, as in 1st Timothy 5:14, where Paul counsels younger widows to go ahead and remarry. Put together, the passages from 1st Corinthians and from 1st Timothy are of course, complimentary, and Paul is telling people that if they can't get a handle on their sexual desires, that they ought to go ahead and get married.

His explanation is that it's better to be in the state of holy matrimony, than to be single and always burning with sexual desire. He is saying that it is much harder to control the problem outside the moral boundaries of marriage, where sexual unity between the husband and wife is a gift from God.

The Greek word "pyrousthai" literally means to glow, and is connected with its derivative, "pyr" (where we get pyre) and means to burn so hot that you glow with the heat. Paul is using figurative, but highly descriptive language here to illustrate sexual desire.

The trouble is, when one mixes that desire with the imagery of pornography, it uses an unrealistic and often unattainable ideal to (temporarily) satisfy those desires, and with that quick fix, come four things as I see it: disappointment, guilt, desensitization and separation.

The fantasy of pornography may seem satisfactory for a season, but the participant will always be let down by it, because it's a sham. Disappointment and guilt happen because one has fallen for the sham once again and because one has willingly participated in sin, something that one knows is highly displeasing to the Lord.

The desensitization process involved in pornography is the most stealthily devastating consequence of looking at pornography. Desensitization comes about, because the sham never truly satisfies, and one begins to pursue satisfaction in order to have it. They are looking at an air-brushed ideal that is likely unattainable. The problem with that is, every time one pursues the "ideal", they are pushing Jesus away, again and again. Even if one is repentant immediately after looking at that stuff, the habit of pushing the Lord out of one's mind becomes easier, and easier and easier, to the point where one will begin pushing Him out of one's thoughts for any reason whatsoever.

That ideal that one is pursuing, while burning with the heat of passion, is something a spouse, future or present, can never live up to. The viewer can ultimately become separated not only from the ability to relate normally and honestly with a future spouse, but with the very Waymaker for their souls.