Discernment or Judgementalism?

I was speaking with my mother about a woman we'd both known, and she said to me that the woman in question had been really nice person. I thought aloud, with my big mouth, "Yeah, it's a pity her eternity will be spent without God."

My mom replied rather tersely, "That's not for you to judge."

Not wanting to be misunderstood, I said, "True, but what judgment on my part needs to be made? She had definite opinions regarding God, and she made them known. She really didn't believe in Him."

"Well, I guess." she said. I don't think there was a lot of guess work involved here.

There's an important difference between being a judgmental person and a person who is able to Biblically discern truth from error. Jesus said, "Do not judge so that you will not be judged." People often quote that verse with finality, without reading the either the preceding verses from Chapter 6 or the verses that follow in Chapter 7, but in the next four verses He warns against correcting others without having first made sure that we have corrected what is wrong in our own lives.

We have to deal honestly with what is in our own hearts and then we are responsible to help others with what is in theirs, but there is a warning about that too. Look at verse 6: "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." I've heard it said, "Argue with a fool and you'll both look foolish."

How can we possibly know that someone is behaving like a spiritual swine, or has a dog-like attitude? How can we know that someone has no appreciation for the truth, is apathetic, cold or indifferent to God, without the ability to judge and make a discernment? Yes, I'm talking about the person in question's character and spiritual condition.

Our Lord did not teach that judgments should never be made. In point of fact, when you look at Matthew 7:4 and 5 and think them through, you will see what I'm saying;

4"Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye?
5You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

The Lord's point is that no one is qualified or even able to remove the speck from his brother's eye if they themselves are spiritually hindered by a "log" in their own eye. The Lord used this imagery for emphasis. The person with the "log" in their own eye and who habitually goes around "correcting" others is really only interested puffing themselves up, not in righteousness.

Look at 1st Timothy Chapter 3. In the process of selecting elders and deacons (overseers) for the church, it would be pretty tough to follow the direction Paul lays out without taking notice of a person's life and the way they live it. Spiritual discernment and judgment must be made and then decisions must be based on them in prayer and by the power and guidance of Holy Spirit.

If we're involved in such decisions, we need to ask ourselves questions like, "Do I have a fat head?" "Am I trying to show off here to other people by making a display of knowledge?" "Do I think I'm a better person than they are because I might be a bit more knowledgeable than they are in some area?" Seriously. These are all "logs" that can be in our eyes, our hearts, and we must remove them if they're there.

We're not judging others when we make discernments about beliefs or behavior that are simply unbiblical. Romans 14 is an excellent chapter to read of you want to see the difference between a judgmental spirit and a discerning one. In light of that same chapter though, we need to be careful, when trying to help others, to discern just how much spiritual help they actually want and then we must do what in our judgment, with Holy Spirit's guidance, is most beneficial to them. We need to test the thickness of the ice if we can. One of the reasons we should do this is because Jesus told us not to throw our pearls, what is holy to the dogs and the pigs.

Dogs and pigs were despised in Jesus' day, and He was using the imagery in His parables to encase the truth from the spiritually indifferent and reveal it to the ones who would hear Him and who were hungry for it. He didn't want the truth to be trampled upon by those who had no use for it. If you try to get people to change their behavior, you're likely going to fail because that isn't the issue. What we should be seeking as believers, is to help them to come to know and believe in Jesus. He's the one who changes hearts and behavior.

If you discern and then make the judgment that somebody is relying on something other than Jesus to get through life, like their own will power, their "religion," cultism or humanism, asking a simple non-threatening question or making a simple statement can often reveal how willing person is to discuss spiritual matters. For example, to the person who laments about a broken relationship on which they pinned their happiness, you might ask, "Would you be interested to hear what the Bible has to say about love?"

If they aren't interested and they blow you off, maybe they will approach you another time. If they are interested, you've gained an opportunity to speak to them without judging them, and to introduce them to Christ. In the context of salvation, that involves Biblical repentance. That means they need to recognize their own sinful condition and their need to trust in Jesus, in His death for their sin and His resurrection for their life. Only He and His loving, life changing grace can clean up their lives and change their behavior.

That is one of the reasons we aren't to pass "judgment" upon others because, "such were some of" us. On the other hand, we have to be able to judge whether their behavior tells us that they have a relationship with Jesus or not because when a life is over, it's too late, and we've missed any possible opportunity to share with them.