A Marriage to Commitment

My wife and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary the other day, or should I say these last several days? I had to work that day, as the rest of the world does not recognize the momentous occasion, so we have been celebrating in different ways with each other ever since. This year, there were no large gifts to commemorate the occasion, but rather a lot of little things we have either said or done for each other as the days have been going by.

We have a friend who is thinking about an interactive event online wherein marriage would be discussed and he asked if we would be open to participation, even to field questions. I thought about it briefly, having done so once before, and we agreed that we would be. All of this has had me thinking a lot about marriage lately. Marriage is so right for some people, (myself included) and so wrong for some others. Since the majority of people apparently are married, and since it seems something to aspire to, most everyone is expected to get married when they grow up. That is one large assumption on the part of most people and actually does an injustice to those who are not a good fit for marriage.

After all, are those who get married, sort of second-class citizens in the body of Christ? Paul said:

32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord--how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world--how he may please his wife. 34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world--how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. (1st Corinthians 7:32-35)

Okay, I believe that. Some would say that it is labeled merely as Paul's personal opinion. I find that to be an untenable position to take. It is God's word. Let's not take it out of context, and let's balance it with what the book of Proverbs, for one, has to say: He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22) It is unwise however, to be a single Christian, looking at that passage in 1st Corinthians 7, and not bring it into consideration before marriage. It is also hard to read and avoid thinking deeply about the matter when one is a married Christian when reading it. I have a friend at church who has been married for much longer than I. She is creeping up on seventy-something, and when I was assisting her in finding an online Bible college through which to take courses, she mentioned that it was very hard for her to have time to herself for study, even for quiet time with God, because she had to give so much attention to her husband. She said this ungrudging, but rather as a statement of fact. This woman is a very active Christian, and she and her believing husband have a marriage that is a very good example to younger and older believers alike. Yet....

There is always room for improvement, for growth in anyone's walk with the Lord. If one doesn't think so, one is fooling one's self. Whether we are right for marriage or not, what we have to be concerned about is our attitude in our walk. Do we put God first? He must be so in our lives.

I have had a number of discussions with my wife about whether or not I would remarry if something happened to her. That's right, it is something she brings up. (Laughing here.) I suppose it is because she has seen so many we have known who either lost their spouse to illness or who have been divorced, who remarried rather quickly. I have assured her that such is not the case with me. (More laughter.) Honestly, I have had the love of my life with her, and I guess I don't want it with anyone else now, and can't imagine that kind of life with anyone else. I mentioned this to a good friend, and he said something like, "Who wants to think of that anyway?" Amen.

Marriage is not always easy, even when you are in deep love. The love part is easy. It is what it is, but there are trials which can take a married couple on a real ride, and even though they go through the trials together, they are still trials. Trials can come in many forms. Whether we are married or single makes no difference. They will come. The bottom line is where God is in our lives. Once again, He must be first if we are single, and if we are married, a couple is either going to be a cohesive unit who puts the glory of the Lord first before each other, or a disjointed pairing who make decisions based on meaningless peripheral considerations.

I guess what I am saying, second-class citizen or not, (laughing here) we all have the same job to do. We must glorify God.